


I'm sorry, I love you

by Gay_inspace



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron Force, Voltron: Defender of the Universe, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst With A Happy End, Angst?, Boyfriends, Drunk Lance, Flashbacks, Hawaiian Hunk (Voltron), Highschool AU, IT'S GAY, Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Keith doesn't have a bro, Keith knows how to punch, Korean Keith, Lance is Cuban, Lotor is low key principal, M/M, More like Langst, Multi, Mutual Pinning, Neighbors, Parties, Requited Love, Smut, So is Matt, Voltron, and grammatical, baby Lance and Keith, fight me, hunk is lit, idk katie is white, it got weird, its kinda sad, jk lmao, keith's parents aren't dead, lorde lyrics, not really - Freeform, other stuff, pidge is jewish, shatt happens, sorry for spelling errors, they're besties, tipsy keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_inspace/pseuds/Gay_inspace
Summary: High school Au! Lance and Keith are Seniors in high school and they're both going off to college. Lance has been pinning Keith since forever and he has flashbacks of their times together.





	I'm sorry, I love you

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make it as angsty as I could and I hope you enjoy reading it. "Ribs" by Lorde inspired the story. Just a warning I probably have lots of grammar and spelling errors.

   Lance was head over heels in love with Keith. They both knew that there was some tension of things being left unsaid between them but neither of them would dare speak of it.

_**‘It feels so scary getting old’** _

   Lance was your typical high school student who was on the basketball team and flirted with anything that had legs. He forced his best friend Keith to join the team as well since he had skills that he wouldn't care to admit. The two grew up as neighbors all throughout their lives but as senior year was coming to a rapid end, they would be going to different colleges in different cities or worse-countries.

 

___________

 

  
   Four year old Lance was overwhelmed with excitement. He had a play date with the new neighbors' kid. He was smaller than Lance and could be easily identified as Korean. He seemed shy as he didn't let go of his mother side when they had first arrived. He had raven hair and a disgusting mullet, which he cringed at but was still determined to be his best friend.

   The doorbell rang throughout the house and Lance's mother answered it. The Cuban boy was star struck that he had actually come because for a second he was starting to doubt himself. Keith makes his way into the ethnic home and he spots Lance. The acknowledgment of the dark skinned was enough to make him fidget. Lance grabbed his hand and dragged a blushing toddler upstairs.

   This was one of the many adventures and moments they would share together.

 

_______

 

  
   It was over their 100 time over at each other's house but they never got tired of each other and always found something to do. Lance was currently trying to convince eight year old Keith that cryptids didn't exist but the conversation got very heated and resulted in Keith spilling his drink on Lance's pants. Frantically, he tried to dry his pants by grabbing handfuls of paper towels. Lance was too busy over thinking the fact that Keith was groping his cock and blushed a deep shade of red.

_**‘The drink you spilled all over me, lover's spit left on repeat’** _

 

__________

 

   By now Keith and Lance were thirteen. Finals had arrived for the eighth graders and it was a horrible time for those close to Lance and those who cared deeply about him.

"Hello Mrs. McClain!" Keith yelled before going up to Lance's room. They both had an unsaid rule of not having to knock before coming in.

   Keith was almost to the door but he could hear music blasting from the closed door. He heard Habits of my heart and without any argument, it's probably one of the saddest songs. Keith mentally prepared himself to what was going on in there since Lance likes to listen to indie bands or pop crap. Keith took a deep breath in but saw no one. He looked around and saw his pastel color pillow thrown across the room and papers sprawled out. Curiosity took over and he picked up a paper. He saw math papers along side with notes. The messy handwriting was a dead giveaway that it was Lances'. That's when he heard muffled sounds coming from the bathroom.

   He made a move for the doorknob and it was locked.

"Lance open, it's Keith" he announced whilst knocking.

   There was no answered which frustrated him and he jingled the knob loudly thinking it would open. His wish came through but what he saw was not what he wanted. There, sitting on the floor, was a Lance with a tear streaked face. He was wearing sweatpants and a loose black shirt while hugging his knees. Keith didn't know what to do but he followed his instincts to comfort him.

"What happened Lance?" He asked with concern.

   Lance just shook his head and continued to bawl his eyes out. After 5 minutes of music playing in the background while Lance let out his remaining sobs, he finally spoke up.

"Finals are just stressing me out so much. It makes me feel useless and like a fucking idiot when everyone else gets the material and I don't. I feel like a burden to everyone." He whimpered out with a raspy voice.

   Keith just nodded in acknowledgment. He knew Lance wasn't the brightest when it came mathematics but when it was English he was practically the embodiment of Shakespeare. Keith was pondering what he could do to help Lance when suddenly, a light bulb turned on.

"Get up." Keith commanded.

   Lance looked confused and a quiet 'wha' left his mouth. Keith grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He picked up Lance's thrown papers and set them down in front of them.

"I don't get what you're trying to do." Lance said utterly confused.

   Keith didn't answer but faced Lance once everything was organized.

"I'm gonna help you study for finals!" He said while have the biggest smile that just screamed hope.

   Lance gave a wholehearted smile and shook his head. He turned to face his desk and began to learn a whole semester's work.

   Lance's mom came up to tell Keith his mom was here but when she came up she saw the two boys had moved from the desk to Lance's bed. They were sound asleep and tangled with each other's limbs. She smiles whilst turning off the lights and closing the door.

   The next morning at school. Keith was organizing his locker and to his surprise, he heard a boy frantically screaming his name. He saw the Cuban boy run straight into him hugging him tightly and waving around a paper.

"I aced my math test! Thank you so freaking much Keith!"

    _Nothing_ could make him happier than seeing his best friend with such a genuine smile.

 

________

 

 

   He was already in a bad mood. Lance didn't need anyone’s shit today. His mom had been beating down on him to do his chores more efficiently. He was behind on school assignments yet again. He was contemplating suicide. The lovely age of fifteen was when people went into phases whether they became popular or the kids that are too cool for school, even the gothic ones. Lance was overall confused on not only who he wanted to be but who he wanted to be with.

   Lance was known for flirting with girls but he couldn't help if he flirted with guys. To be more specific-Keith. Once in awhile he would throw a compliment his way or maybe tell him a pick up line. Half of the time he himself didn't even know if he was joking.

   Lance was currently walking side by side with Keith as they made their way to class. Remember the wonderful thing of being fifteen? Trying to fit in with everyone was Lance’s dream. So then chaos ensued.

“Yo Lance? Who's this?” Travis asked.

   Travis was the type of douchebag who thinks if you hang out with someone lame you are lame. And he happened to be the most popular guy at school. And he also hated Keith.

“You hang out with Queef over here?” He teased.

   Keith was about ready to punch this guy but what Lance said broke his heart.

“Pfft no. Why would I? I was just walking with him to make him feel better about not having friends!” Lance said quickly, not thinking about how he had just affected Keith.

   Lance felt a tap of his shoulder and he turned around only to quickly be met with a pale fist. He crashed backwards into the lockers and hit his head on the way down. He rose a finger to his nose and saw the crimson liquid flowing out. He saw a raging Keith who couldn't control his breath.

“Well next time you want to feel bad for someone, don't let it be me because I'm **not** your fucking charity case.” He said while stomping away.

   Lance just sat there half awake. Keith had really landed a blow and he regretted saying those things to try and fit in. He just didn't want to be the weird gay kid but then he thought of Shiro who was the second most popular guy at school. He was on the football team and his boyfriend Matt was in Jazz band. They were both openly gay and both very popular. Lance just wondered why he had to open his dumb mouth and ruin things with Keith.

   He felt light headed the entire day and it just got so intolerable that he called his mom to pick him up.

“Lance! Que pasó?” His mom yelled as soon as he got into the car. He's pretty sure he looked like shit and the bloody nose didn't exactly scream ‘ _nothing_ ’ but that's what he went with.

“Nada.”

**_‘That will be enough’_ **

  
~~

  
   It was around 6:00 and Lance was held up in his room with an ice pack on his face. He decided he had been a douche long enough. He grabbed his blue hoodie and headed out. He walked down the street to the Cul-de-sac which is where Keith lived. He was outside playing basketball which Lance was thankful for since he didn't want his presence to be known yet.

“I'm sorry Keith.” Lance spoke as Keith stopped playing but still not facing him. “I didn't mean it.”

   Still no response.

“Dude what the hell do you want me to say!”

“I want to know why he means so much to you!” Keith yelled back. “I wanna know why you care so much about what a jock thinks about me or you. I don't understand what's so important in his approval of who you are!”

   Lance just stood there not saying anything. He was right. Why did he care so much about what someone thought about him? Throughout his entire life the person who stood by him was Keith.

“K..Keith. I'm really sorry. I don't know what to say to make you forgive me because I honestly don't deserve it.”

_“Pfft no! I'm not friends with him!”_

“I-” was all he said before shaking his head. He was not about to cry when he had no right.

“I'm an asshole when you've been nothing but nice to me and have helped me through so much and I repay you by humiliating you in front of everyone just because I cared about someone's opinion that doesn't matter because the only thing that matters i-”

   Lance didn't realize that Keith had moved towards him and was now holding him in an embrace. He looked down and saw Keith grimace.

“Stop saying shit like that”

   The Cuban boy let out a wry laugh and hugged Keith. He was grateful his best friend could forgive someone like him so easily.

_**‘We talk it so good’** _

______

 

   Junior year was finally here and life couldn't be better. Both boys were passing their classes with flying colors and their relationship was closer than ever. Since it was nearing spring break and they were done with midterms, they were both invited to a party hosted than none other- Hunk.

   Hunk was close with Lance and Keith. He was a big Hawaiian who loved everyone and always had room in his heart to care for more people. He had a wild passion for cooking and throwing parties.

   It was Friday and Hunk’s party was starting at nine. Since it was only seven, the duo decided to play video games for the remaining time.

“Alright let's get going.” Lance said while shutting off the game.

   Lance was dressed in grey jeans with a blue dress shirt and his usual sneakers. Keith wore black jeans and a blank tank top and a red flannel to top it off. They both made their way on foot since there would be no D.D. Yes they were sixteen but everyone drank in their grade.

_**‘And I've never felt more alone’** _

   They arrived and saw the front lawn a mess. The grass was littered with red cups and drunk people. Keith checked his phone and saw that it was 10 so lots of people were probably shit faced drunk. The two looked at each other and walked in. Lance was hauled aside by Travis much to Keith’s dismay.

   That asshole nearly destroyed their friendship back in freshman year. He hated that Lance was still friends with him but nonetheless, he smiled and found someone people to hang out with.

  
~~~

 

   It was around midnight by now and he wasn't that drunk. He was wondering where Lance was since he hadn't seen him the entire night. He looked through the kitchen, backyard, bathrooms and stopped when he got to the den. He saw him talking to people while chugging alcohol from his cup. Of course, his night had to be ruined. Or perhaps made.

   A girl who didn't go to their school, who Keith recognized as Nyma, sat on Lances’ lap and started to kiss him. Lance didn't kiss back but he didn't stop her either. The guys and girls who surrounded them started to cheer them on hoping something would happen but Lance finally broke away. He shook his head and got up and that's when he made eye contact with Keith. Maybe it was the alcohol working but tears welled up in Keith’s eyes. He ran upstairs where people who wanted to get away from the blaring music went. He heard footsteps close behind him and his name being called out.

“Keith! Please wait!”

   He didn't listen but instead ran into a room and closed the door. Lance bursts in and sees Keith crying. Yes there had been times where Keith and Lance have questioned where they stood relationship wise. People always joked around and told them they had some serious sexual tension. Lance had thought about what life would be life with Keith. Some days, he couldn't stop thinking about his ugly mullet and how it bounces every time he laughs or how his smile would shine brighter than the sun. Keith was beautiful and Lance couldn't deny that. Keith couldn't deny that Lance was the most handsome boy in their grade.

“Keith I'm sorry. It's not what it looked like I swear!” He gushed out. “God! I hate that bitch!”

   Keith didn't want to get into this now. He didn't want to break down and let everything loose now. His mind was elsewhere and his gut was telling him to go for it. _Fuck it._

   Keith leaned forward and kissed Lance. It took a while to register in Lance’s brain but after it did he didn't waste anytime on kissing him back. It felt unreal and he thought maybe he was hallucinating. He couldn't believe that the boy who he had many conflicting feelings for was kissing him. He wrapped his hand Keith’s head to pull him closer.

_‘Closer’_

   That's all Lance wanted Keith to be right now. Close to him. Keith opened his mouth and slid his tongue into Lance’s mouth. The unexpected sensation caused Lance to moan. The sound encouraged Keith to take over. He pushed Lance down on the bed and proceeded to sit on his crotch. They tangled their fingers in each other's hair and pulling slightly.

   Lance decided it was time for a change. He flipped Keith over and kissed his jaw. He left trails of kisses down his neck all the way to his jeans. Lance unzipped his black bottom and pulled down the boxers. He grabbed Keith’s dick and began to bob his head. Lance could feel it hit the back of his throat and gagged a little.

   Keith was overwhelmed with pleasure and couldn't control the sounds coming out of his mouth. He felt Lance moan on his cock and threw his head back. The night held many more things.

  
~~~~~

 

   The party still raged on and it was 1AM by now. Messy raven hair, a blue shirt on the floor. Keith was wrapped in Lance’s arm and head resting on his chest. He could hear Lance’s unsteady heartbeat. He was overjoyed that the boy he loved had taken his virginity and vice verse. He felt as if he had a permanent smile plastered on his face.

“Come on get up.” Lance said while picking up his shirt.

“W-what? Why?”

“Because I have an idea.” Lance said with a smirk.

_**‘Reeling through the midnight streets’** _

   Keith started this tie his shoes back on and fix his hair and Lance zipped his pants up. Keith looks up and sees Lance’s hand in front of him. He smiles and takes it. Their fingers locked and gripped tightly. Lance opens the door and sees everyone now dancing and drinking while someone passed out. He grips Keith’s hand tighter and leads him out of the house. The street where Hunk lived was empty and dark. Everyone was sleeping. The only thing that illuminated the streets were the occasional lamps. The slightly intoxicated boys arrived at a liquor store.

“Go talk to the Cashier. Make sure he's distracted.” Lance said while kissing Keith on the lips.

   Keith was confused and didn't know what to do.

“Do you know where I could buy weed? Or something.” He asked. He felt stupid but he couldn't think of anything.

“What.”

   He mentally cursed himself for asking that but continued anyway.

“I feel like getting fucked up and I was wondering if you knew anybody that has weed.” He said trying to think of something else.

“Never mind but I have another question. How come you work as a cashier at a liquor store? Was it your dream as a child to grow up and become one?” He asked as he out a wry laugh.

“Do you need me to call your parents to pick you up?”

“I'm 16.”

“You don't act like it. Are you gonna buy something or waste my time?” The cashier fired back.

_‘Ouch.’_

“I don't know. What should I buy?”

“I don't have weed but you can go ahead and get sugar high. Grab some candy.” He suggested while pointing the candy selection in front of him.

“Does it have weed?”

“Why do you want weed!” The cashier yelled.

“I-” was all Keith could say before Lance came back.

“Sorry about him! He's just a hardcore druggie” he laughed as he pulled Keith out.

“Hey wait! Get back here!”

“What was that for?” Keith asked since he basically embarrassed himself.

“I don't have any money on me so I stole these.” Lance explained while taking out the food he stole and starting to run.

**_‘We can make it so divine’_ **

   Keith noticed how flushed Lance looked while he ran while holding Keith’s hand. He thought it was because of the sudden movement and chose to ignore it. The two ran down the dark street laughing and looking back to make sure no one was following them.

 _ **‘Laughing ‘til our ribs get tough'**_  
  
   Once the coast was clear they stopped running. They doubled over to catch their breath when they made eye contact. They broke out into smiles and then laughter. At one point Lance snorted which them laugh even more.

“That was fun, huh?”

   Keith agreed.

   Lance took his hand again and led him through an alleyway. He stopped in front of a pile of junk and jumped onto the bins. He climbed onto a ledge which Keith can only assume it belonged to a house. He held his hand out for Keith and hoisted him up from the garbage. They walked around and settled on top of the roof. They are their stolen chips and held hands until it was dawn. Keith had fallen asleep while being cradled by Lance.

_**‘How you wish it would be all the time’** _

_“Ance!”_

_**“Lance.”** _

______

  
“Lance McClain! Do you not hear me!” That would be Lance’s homeroom teacher yelling at him.

 _‘I guessed I zoned out_ ’ he thought.

“Sorry Ms. Allura. My mind kinda just wandered off.” He said in an apologetic tone.

“Well you're lucky this is just practice! During the real ceremony don't daydream!” She spoke into the mic.

   Lance has done a lot of things that he regrets. Not telling Keith that he loved him was one of them. That happened last year. It was senior year and they were graduating in less than a week. After the flashback of when he lost his virginity, he remembered what happened after that.

~~

 

_The following week at school Lance walked into the halls with a heavy stomach. Keith hasn't spoken to Lance ever since the night of the party. Lance walked him home but Keith didn't say anything the way back. He felt stupid that Keith would want him. He was drunk and at a party. It was probably just a casual hookup. Lance wanted to talk to Keith. He wanted to hold his hand. To be able to kiss his cheek and tells him he loves him. When Lance spots him in the halls, Keith waves at him. Anger rose in Lance but he didn't show it._

_**‘How can he just have sex with me, ignore me, then smile like nothing ever happened!’** _

_“Hey Lance. Can I talk to you?” Keith asked while pulling him aside. “About the night of the party-”_

_“Look Keith I'm-”_

_“No Lance. I wanted to say I'm sorry and for us to move on. What happened that night shouldn't have happened. Can we just forget about it and continue being friends?”_

_Lance was utterly heartbroken to say the least. ' **No Keith. It wasn't a mistake and I don't wanna forget about it. I fucking love and I'm about ready to freaking marry you’**_

_  
“Yeah. Okay”_

_**‘This dream isn't feeling sweet’** _

~~

 

   Lance shook his head to try and forget about him. He took a deep breath and looked around. His heart felt heavy and almost sadness. He didn't want to leave this school. He's made so many friends and it was practically a second home. Sure he sucked at math from time to time and had a mental breakdown but hey, who doesn't. It's high school after all. He walked down to his locker and saw the dent of when Keith hit him because he was douche. He enters his combo and sees what's left. Stickers he put when he was fourteen. By now, they were all torn and half of them remained. He walked around and saw the lockers of his friends.

   Pidge. What a sarcastic person. She was very insensitive and witty. They didn't talk at all until sophomore year. Hunk. He was a trustworthy person who could help in any situation whether it was comfort or advice. He passed all his classes with straight A’s and some B’s. Lance had known Hunk since 7th grade and introduced him to Keith during 9th. Shiro. Lance wasn't that close with him but Shiro was Lance’s role model. He had the perfect grades, the perfect relationship, and perfect personality to match with his perfect face. Lance aspired to be just like him. He was thankful for all the people he's met.

  
_______

 

_**‘It feels so scary getting old’** _

   Keith was leaving. He was moving across the country to college. Lance couldn't believe that the person he's know for 14 years, his shoulder to cry on, his rock, his everything, was leaving. Life was never on his side so the fact that graduation was the last time that he would see him crushed him. Lance made his mind up about not going to college. At least not for now.

   He was scared. He wanted Keith to stay with him. He wanted his feelings to be heard and to be mutual. Keith’s school didn't start until the Fall but he wanted to get familiar with the state, tour around, make some money, and make some friends. That's why he was leaving so early but he was leaving now. He was packing his car with his bags.

   Lance couldn't let the list of things he regrets get longer. If he didn't at least try to get Keith to stay, he would beat himself up over it until the day he dies. _‘It's now or never!’_

Lance jumps out of bed and runs down stairs. He runs to where Keith’s car is-full of bags or clothes and other items and ready to go. He sees Keith hugging his mom before he goes. He gets into his car and starts the engine.

“Keith!” Lance yells at the top of his lungs. His voice cracked in the process but in all honestly he couldn't care less.

   Keith looks confused but stepped out of his car.

“What Lance. I have to get driving.”

“I know I'm sorry, but I can't let you leave!” He says on the verge of tears.

“Oh fuck off” Keith says while laughing.

“I'm serious I-I don't want you to leave.” He begs

“What do you mean?”

“I-I.” Was all he could say before he started to cry.

   Keith stood there shocked. He didn't know what was happening or what to do.

“I love you Keith. I have ever since you moved here. I admire how you're so good at everything and how you can take care of people.”

“Lance I-” Keith tries to interrupt.

“No!” He continues. “I'm sorry I've acted like a douche. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry that I humiliated you because I was scared of what people thought. I'm sorry that we had sex at Hunk’s party. I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel uncomfortable or not want to be around me but I can't help it. I love you so fucking much and I can't stand not being around you.”   
_____  
 _“Do you wanna hang out”_  
“S-sure”   
______

  
“I can't forget about you and let you move thousands of miles away. I don't want to throw away 14 years of my life because I was afraid to confess to you!”

_____  
 _“Sorry I spilled the juice on your pants.”  
“It's fine Keith_”   
_____  
  
“You've helped me through so much and I can't ever repay you for that.”  
_____  
 _“Keith guess what!”_  
“What happened”  
“I'm allowed to be in honors math because I've been passing everything with A’s!”  
_____

“We have so many memories together and I loved every single one of them. Even if they weren't the best because we've had arguments.”  
_____  
 _“I'm not your fucking charity case and I don't want your pity.”_  
“Keith wait!”  
_____

“But we also had the best moments together even if you don't want me to bring it up because it was a mistake and as you said probably shouldn't have happened.  
_____  
 _“I love you Lance.”  
“I love you more Keith_.”   
_____  
  
“You may think that us having sex was a mistake but you can't seriously tell me that that night was one. When we stayed with each other, holding hands until dawn. Do you know how hard it was for me to just pretend like it didn't happen? To have the person you love so much tell you that it was a mistake? To be okay with that and just let you move away? I'm sorry but I can't keep it a secret anymore because Keith Kogane, _I'm in love with you_."

   Lance had tears rushing down his face. Keith stood there crying as well.

“Lance.” He mentally prepared himself for Keith to tell him to grow up or say the worst thing possible but it never came.

   He felt a warm pair of lips on his own. He saw Keith cupping his face and kissing him. He wasted no time kissing him back and wrapping his arms around his waist. There was a slight height difference so Keith had to tippy toe to reach him. They stood their just sharing a passionate, simple, long overdue kiss.

“Lance I'm so sorry about everything. I didn't know how much I hurt you. I-I never meant to it just happened because I freaked out. I love you. I love you so much. Lance I-” Keith rambled on whilst crying but Lance shushed him and opened his arms.

   It was time Lance took care of him. Keith cried into his shoulder. He hugged him tightly and kissed the top of his head. It felt so good to be in the arms of the person who you've been madly in love with since kindergarten. Keith hugged him tighter hoping that would make them closer than possible.

“Lance, please come with me. Come with me to Pennsylvania. I know it's a lot to ask to but I'm begging you!”

“Keith. You don't need to ask. I would go with you there even if you didn't want me too.” Lance said smiling.

“I love you. I'm sorry for the short notice but thank you for coming. I don't know what you wanna do after college or about your school but we'll figure it out later!”

“About that.” He said scratching the back of his head “I wasn't planning on going to college. Well not _yet_ at least.”

“Lance! Why not! I thought you wanted to become a writer?” Keith asked slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be chasing his dream.

“I do and hopefully I will. But for now it's about us moving to Pennsylvania! But before that, it would be weird if I didn't ask, will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?” Asked the flushed Cuban.

   Keith swore his heart stopped when he heard the word ‘ _boyfriend_ ’. Nonetheless, he shook his head rapidly.

“Help me pack then, _boyfriend_.” Lance said with a teasing tone.

“I could get used to you calling me that”

“Hey Keith?”

“Yes Lance?”

“I love you.”

“ I love you too.”

 

__**‘You're the only friend I need.  
Sharing beds like little kids   
Laughing ‘til our ribs get tough   
But that will never be enough’**

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Was it good? I can't believe this is almost 5,000 words!


End file.
